SSince reunification, one, no, Germany’s greatest mystery has been: Who are these East Germans, and if so, why are there so many? The federal government is working hard on a solution by wearing out East Commissioners like Saxony-Elector August the Strong once did scientists looking for the gold formula.
The new incumbent Carsten Schneider, for example, recently rushed forward with the new declaration that East Germans were unfamiliar with compromises, whereupon the “Berliner Kurier” headlined the question: “Do East Germans lack the ‘compromise gene’?” be forced to be boosted with one of these. Finally, in 1989, they put an end to the rotten compromise. After tireless protest marches, they are finally rid of the compromising Miss who ruled for 16 years
The people in the East have nothing!
But enough of the wordplay pranks, because the situation in the country has been serious since the federal government announced that it would deliver 5,000 military protective helmets to Ukraine. The Minister of Defense sees this as a “very clear signal”. It is not yet clear why, but we also do not understand the criticism of it, since each of the approximately 200,000 Ukrainian soldiers will soon be able to enjoy German security for at least half an hour a day.
Because the people in the East have nothing! Ms. Lambrecht has known that ever since she occasionally travels through the zone from the Bonn ministry headquarters to the West Berlin branch of her house, where she boldly aims at Dnepropetrovsk with her binoculars, while in the rest of the way only mouth monkeys are offered for sale.
Because while elders in this country inquire, shaking their heads, why today, unlike then, the men under the helmets sent to the East are missing, the parliamentary group leader of the Left Party in the Bundestag criticizes their delivery as “fatal” and demands uncompromisingly: “Stop this saber-rattling!” The lethal offensive weapon However, a protective helmet is currently pretty much the only thing that is still ready for use in the Bundeswehr arsenal.
Only the bockwurst would be sabered
We wouldn’t be surprised if our government, which is always willing to compromise, would have stapled a secret additional protocol to the delivery note: Please only use it for food! The helmet as a soup bowl would also be a very clear signal against the waste of food, which the traffic light has committed itself to in its coalition agreement. At best, the bockwurst, which incomprehensibly always submerges as a whole in the potato soup, would then be sabered on, although the Left would immediately castigate this as a food calation.
Which brings us to the party service that the former Great Britain has recently started operating at 10 Downing Street in London. Owner Boris Johnson has decided to keep his people happy during the crisis. He sets a good example and is his own best customer. Until now, we have only known similar joy in drinking from Johnson’s namesake, Yeltsin, who conducted entire orchestras when he was full. However, we also remember how that turned out for the empire he led at the time.
The uncompromising sobriety with which our government is working through projects such as the vaccination campaign (“Vaccination helps.”) on posters colored in sanifair colors is just as incomprehensible as Angela Merkel’s declaration that she has no time for dinner with Friedrich Merz. The drinks would have been included. You could have celebrated something else that evening, for example one hundred years of traffic lights. No, not the one in Berlin, but the one that regulates traffic.
The first of these is said to have been in Hamburg in 1922, which means that everything falls into place by itself for conspiracy practitioners: Merkel comes from Hamburg, where Scholz ruled for years. They probably agreed on the arithmetic of power during his visits to the GDR. In the word ComprOmISS is – Hello, Mr. Schneider! – the term Ossi already included. You just have to look closely.