Of all the binomials included in The 88 Steps of Happy People, which are not few, this is one of the most important. In fact, I would say that it is one of the dividing lines between a life with success and abundance and a life without them.
Usually, you can live in a state of trust or in a state of protection. Most of the people belong to the second group. And, in that state, your focus is not on how to make your life richer, but on how to make it not poorer. And if you stop to reflect on this fact, you will see that the differences are enormous. When you focus on enriching your life, your focus is on the present, today, and consequently you can live enjoying reality, since reality and present are the same thing. In addition, there is receptivity and openness (to growth, to collaborations, to opportunities). Now … (attention to the opposite side), when you focus not on how to enrich your life, but on how not to impoverish it; not on how to win, but on how not to lose, so you do not live in a state of enjoyment, but in a state of worry, focused not on what you can extract from your present, but on what you could lose in your future. But, when we exchange the present for the future, we incur a serious problem, since we cannot enjoy the reality of the future, since the future is not real. The moment it becomes real is the same moment it ceases to be future.
Imagine that you arrive in this world knowing that one of the first thousand people you will meet in your life is going to betray you and take advantage of you. Every time you meet someone new, you ask yourself: “Is this the traitor?” Consequently, you go into a state of protection, and you take every person who is presented to you as a potential danger. As a result of that worry and constant alertness, you distrust everyone and of course protect yourself.
Does the protection work? Yes. That person who was going to rob you or who was going to abuse you effectively cannot do it because thanks to your permanent protection status you have managed to block them and protect yourself from them. Where then is the paradox? In that you have blocked the bad of a person, but also the good of 999. That is the price of living in a state of permanent protection.
The solution is found in changing that mentality for this one: «There are those who distrust people and those who trust people, and I choose to be part of the latter. I will go bad with dozens, but good with dozens of thousands.
Does this mean that you have to live recklessly and without taking precautions? Of course not. The solution is not in not taking precautions, but in not living in fear. How to do it? Choosing trust over fear.
One day I experienced a real situation that crystallized for me the power of this Step forever. Two people I trust each had properties for sale. When the first received news that someone was interested, he went into a state of alert: “Let’s see what this one wants now. Since you don’t give me what I’m looking for, I’m not selling it to you! I’m not stupid! ”He exclaimed. Unknowingly, she had said no before even hearing his offer. Protection status. The other called him with a telephone smile and thanking him for the opportunity to do business together. Trust status. The first today is anything but rich. The second today is anything but poor.
Trust not that your life will be rosy, but rather your ability to accept rainbows.